Somewhat overwhelmed

"So I know you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?"
"I think you can in Europe."
Oh the greatness of quoting movies, I love it.  Since this blog is all about being honest, real, and transparent...I am going to continue with that today.

I am overwhelmed.  I put off school work and now I feel like I am a huge failure, even though I am not.  I slacked off last week because I was tired and then lazy, and then my brother and sister-in-law were here, so who wants to work on homework when there are more fun things to do.  So, I missed a deadline.  I submitted it today, but I don't know how that is going to go.  I also think it is a little frustrating because we are supposed to do this Annotated Bibliography, but there is nothing in the book about what that means, or even in her notes...ahhh, I guess I am just guessing.  I did look at the other people's submissions and they are similar to mine, so I feel better about that.

This is the last week, I have a 2000 word paper due one week from today (a week earlier than I thought) and I have a final test in the other class.  I have to say I am glad I am only taking one class next quarter. 

That brings me to my class next quarter...I have to buy like 10 books, well 2 books and about 8 case papers that are $6 each, plus shipping...SUPER MAD about that!

Anyway, on to something else.  Rick is studying for the promotion board.  He is somewhat on edge about it...he wouldn't say that, but I know he is.  I know he is nervous because his leaders put such great faith in him, and rightfully so.  He is pretty amazing.  That is all I am going to say about that since he doesn't like his business all out in the open.

H is doing fine, although I just now realized that I forgot to put on her teething necklace before she went to sleep, so she will probably be up a bunch of times tonight.  She still only has 1.5 teeth.  I say .5 because it hasn't actually broken through the skin yet, but I can see it.  Her teeth sure do move slowly!

The exterminator is coming on Friday because I think we have far too many bugs in our house for my liking.  I am going to see if I can work from home that day so that I can be here and take something off Rick's plate.

I am just a little too insecure.  I need to figure out how to fix that.  One of my new fav songs talks about being caught up in God's grace like an avalanche.  My favorite line is "I find myself on my knees again."  I need to be on my knees before God more often.  It really is a great song called "Like an Avalanche" by Hillsong. 

So, what does it look like to be on your knees?  I know one of my biggest things to bring before my God is my controlling nature.  I want to have my way or no way.  I know this is always true with where we go.  God has been so good to us, and I just want more.  I don't know why I feel like I cannot trust him or rest in the fact that he will not leave me or forsake me.  I know we have come through terrible times and have remained strong and even gotten stronger.  why can't I have that same thing with God?  Why can't I stay committed to my word to be more focused and in tune with his will?  Why can't I just be still and listen to what he is saying?  Maybe then I wouldn't feel so anxious or terrified, or just plan stupid.

There I am, in my head, as always.  Wondering how to get out and rest.