The possiblities

I have already been accused of overthinking things, so here it is again!

My husband doesn't like our business out on the street, so I work hard on being careful what I write about.  Sometimes that means I leave things out or rephrase them to avoid a fight later.  He has always told me that he is my biggest fan.  He told me the other day that the reason he hasn't been on Facebook as much lately is because his favorite blogger stopped writing, so there was no reason to log on!

Here goes some open and honest communication...for what it's worth.

Rick has been in the Army for 3 years (well, it will be on October 6th).  That means his re-enlistment window opens next week.  For those not familiar with the Army, a year from the end of your contract, you can re-enlist.  Rick signed up for 4 years, so it is time to decide the next phase.

Those of you know how much I HATE anticipation!!!  I also don't like change much (although I get tired of the same old thing...I know, I'm strange!). We are looking at our options.  I thought we had come to a conclusion as to where we were going to go!  It was a leap of faith for me because I was not secured a job if we went there.  Last week, Rick came home and said we could go anywhere and then asked, "so, where do you want to go?"  Really??  We already decided this, I already had our new house (in my mind) decorated and H in a new day care and everything.  Now you are telling me we are starting over!!!???

We chatted for a little bit.  He decided he would contact the main people who handle relocation/reassignments/stuff like that.  They told him where we had decided to go was available, but it may not be until after the upcoming deployment.  Yes, you heard me right, deployment!  Due to OPSEC (operation security, the way to stop the terrorists from getting our info), I can't give you many specifics.  So, with that said, we started talking about the deployment and if that was ok (as if we ever have a choice).  but many of you have heard me say this before "if it can happen in the Army, it happens to us!"

I decided deployment wouldn't be so bad (at least not as bad as last time).  He has a different job, which should be less dangerous.  I am not prego!!!!!!  And we have an amazing support team down here (thanks to my great job and our fabulous neighbor Hanna!!)  I know I can make it through this one...plus, I know what to expect.

So, today I had a meeting with some managers for work and one of the guys seemed to take an interest in Rick, who was not with me.  He was asking a bunch of questions about what his career aspirations were.  We talked about him going back to school for nursing and going that route (this would also limit the deployment situations in the future).  I also learned that the number of deployments has NOTHING to do with career enhancement and is a myth older guys tell the younger guys.  That irritated me a lot!

With all this, I came home and asked Rick what his career aspirations are...he said "my career what?"  So we talked more about it and he decided to get more info from the guys he knows about it.

All in all, not terrible, but I hate not knowing.  I have come to terms with deployment.  Here are some fears about it!

honest and raw:
H - Yes, she is so small she won't remember him being gone
H - She will be a wreck without him until she gets used to him being gone
H - Do I want her to get used to him being gone!?
Me - Ugh, another deployment
Me - More time at the post office (not bad)
Me - CASH!!!!! (they get paid more when they are deployed)
Rick - He will cut us off in preparation to leave us
Rick - More time away from us makes it more difficult to be with us
Us - Reintegration is rough!  I don't know if we have even gotten through it from the last time
Us - 2 deployments in less than 2 years...what does that do to a marriage
Other people - I hate getting the sad face from people...yes it SUCKS, but I don't want to be reminded of it all the time.
Other people - while I don't want to be reminded of it, I would like a little understanding as to how difficult it is to be a single parent in continued anticipation of trauma

THE DOOR!!!!  No one can every come over without calling first, I almost throw up every time there is a sound like someone might be at the door.

There you have it...raw and exposed!  I know other military wives go through this too, but it is real for us now.  I know we will probably have to do it, because it is the nature of the beast. 

Just to be clear, I do not want him to leave, but if he is given orders to go, I will support him in any and every way and keep calm and composed, not just for him, but for our whole family.

Slacking

So, my husband informed me that I have not been blogging consistently. He is right. Life has gotten crazy, as it often does. I have much to write, but not much time to write it:)

Some things on my mind: Halaina turns 18 months old a week from tomorrow (9/27). She has started to transition into the next daycare room. She loves it, but it is so bittersweet. I have become so comfortable with the ladies she has now. They know my little quirks. They know I forget pretty much everything, from taking her teething necklace off before taking her to school to the diapers I needed to take 2 days prior. Ugh!!

We now have a new group of ladies to break in. I'm going to have to talk to them about how forgetful I am.

Today, while dropping H off, her teacher told me another mother came in and asked her if they were teaching the kids sign language. Ms Laws said 'no, Halaina is'. She then went on to tell me that H is a leader, which makes me so happy!!!

I am trying to go with the flow and know that God will provide the best opportunity he has for us. Being a military family is hard, but I do enjoy it.

Just last week I met 3 new ladies that I became friends with. I love that the Army allows so many situations to meet new friends:)

Anyway, I will write more tomorrow, hopefully :)

The Semi-Independent Army Wife

I haven't blogged in a little while, mainly because life has been a little crazy.  There will be more life changes in the near future, but no idea when that will become announcable :)

My friend and I were talking about what it takes to be an Army wife.  This is near and dear to my heart, due to the fact that I am an Army wife.  I kinda like to think of myself as the non-traditional Army wife, I like that!

It takes a certain type to be successful at being an Army wife (military wife in general, you can replace Army with any other branch of service.).  There are certain things we deal with on a very regular basis that the "normal" wife may not.  Some examples:
I have one neighbor whose husband is in the band...he may have gigs at night, parades in the morning, formal events he has to play for, and funeral detail (since he is a bugler).
I have another neighbor whose husband is getting ready to go to the field.  She said the last time he went they ended up leaving a day earlier than planned.
Before Rick deployed, he spent a month training in CA.  Before they deploy again, the guys will spend another month training somewhere.
Rick is about to go to school for a month.
Another friend's husband just got done with the initial training to get into the Army, she has two kids and he was away for about six months.
Finally, another friend's husband has been working hard at getting qualified for different things, which means schools, training, and long hours.

Some things other people don't know.  The guys have to pull "Staff duty".  This is a 24 hour assignment where they have to stay on duty to answer the phones and handle other things that come up at the office.
Duty days start at 0600 with PT.  Sometimes the day doesn't end until well after dark. 
If something goes missing, everyone has to stay to look for it, no matter how long that takes.
Things change, constantly!

So, what does that mean for the wife!? It means she needs to be somewhat independent.  I have to tell you, I am can be over-dependent on some things and under-dependent on others.  I don't like when Rick is away, I have trouble with the change (since I am a crazy controller!)  I am very under-dependent when it comes to work.  I have a career I love and feel satisfied with. 

I have friends, I have things to do, hobbies, and love the benefits of meeting new people, trying new things, and learning about a culture!

I will admit I am over-dependent sometimes.  I like to have Rick home for dinner, I love supporting him with family readiness group activities, I ask him if it is ok if I do certain things, I work with him to make our house a home.

I learned how much I could handle when he was deployed.  It was extremely difficult.  I was so anxious about the whole thing, but I knew that he needed me to be strong and to handle things.  I knew that I could not bog him down with the worries of my daily life.

It is hard to adjust, the best medicine is to look at the positive.  If you are stuck in the house, get out and meet people.  If you are stressed with the kids, there are so many options!  Moms NEED me time!  Couples NEED date time!  Kids need healthy parents with a healthy relationship. 

If you are having trouble with the military life, find a mentor who can help you look at the bright side, listen to her and don't be a negative Nancy!  We do have a great life, so few people get to live a life like us.  Trust me, the outside is not all it's cracked up to be!