Today is the first day of the new quarter for school...this quarter sucks because it is over 4th of July and Labor Day...boo for that, oh, and our vacation to WI!!!
Anyway, a lot has happened since the last post, so I know you are all dying to hear about the ramblings in my head!
Father's Day weekend I was TERRIBLY sick. I was in bed from Friday afternoon until I went to work Monday morning. I was up a little to sit on the couch, well lay on the couch. And I did take a shower finally on Sunday night. So, Rick got a crappy father's day of taking care of a very cranky baby and a very sick momma. They thought I had a kidney infection, I still think I did. But then they decided it was a UTI, so they put me on different meds.
I was at work all day Monday, on Tuesday I was feeling much better and my boss came to check on me. She said she was very surprised that I stayed all day Monday, she fully expected me to go home 1/2 way through the day. I told her (through somewhat teary eyes) that it was a major accomplishment for me to have made it all day.
So, now I am feeling better. The reason H was SO crabby was because she sprouted a tooth while I was in bed, and Rick said it was a great Father's day because he got to spend it with his little girl.
Anyway. I started a new devotional. This one is pretty core shaking. It is called 30 days to Taming your Tongue. I have felt convicted about how I use my words, what I say, the words I say, and all that goes with that. I have realize I curse WAY too much, I talk about people too much, and I am very quick to judgement...with my words.
Words are harsh. I was talking with an older man today(getting ready to retire) about bullying in the schools now days. He said that he remembered when he was in 3rd or 4th grade and he would bully a set of twin boys who were heavy. (this man stood about 6'2'' and weighed probably over 300 lbs.) He said he was a skinny thing and would always pick on these boys. He told me he regretted it now. You could see it on his face. He truly was remorseful for what had happen 50 years or more ago. I think that is so telling.
I know I have picked on people, talked about them behind their back, quietly stewed about them, the whole 9 yards. I seem to justify myself by thinking they must have done something wrong, they are crazy(my favorite thing to call people), they just don't understand how other's have it worse, and the list goes on.
As I am raising my precious baby girl, I think about how she will be picked on for whatever...probably her crocked teeth. She will have struggles and heart ache and all that. I have to see others like that. I need to see those crazy people as someones son or daughter who needs help. A child in need of his/her father. I need to have a heart for them and know that deep down, they are human just like me and I am no better than they are. I have to separate the people from the actions.
This is quite a feet in my line of work. I deal with all the bad people, the crazies and those who just can't get it together. So, my challenge, to myself, is to really separate the people from the action. Love on the people, pray for them, and deal with the action. The act does not go to the core of the person.
I need to be a light for myself and others. I can't continue to run people down.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Tomorrow's dinner!
I'm in my head again!!! I have had a very busy day at work today, worked 9.5 hours, had 3 back to back meetings this afternoon (2 with Colonels), and then came home to my very sick husband!
I have to say, I am very jealous of my husband! Rick woke up sick this morning and is already better (12 hrs later)...JERK! I got sick yesterday around lunch time and was still sick after lunch today. I am feeling better, but still!
I am in my head pretty good today...I am getting ready for another long and semi busy/stressful day at work tomorrow. That's not even the worst of it. Rick was taken out of the company (collective group of guys who work together) that he deployed with and was taken back to HHC (Headquarters company). With that, I changed FRGs (Family Readiness Groups). This group was were I met my closest friends (who have either moved away or are getting ready to). Now, I have a new adventure. Tomorrow I am going to a dinner with these new ladies to welcome the new leader. The leader is the highest NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer - a fancy way to say the soldiers who are not officers, but are in charge of the soldiers' day-to-day stuff). So, it is kind of a big deal.
This is what I find to be funny. I can spend all day talking to high ranking officers, giving them advice, telling them what they should do, having the hard conversations with them, the whole 9 yards, but when it comes to the FRG, I am terrified of the wives. I think the main issue is that I represent Rick and I want to be sure to do that in the best way possible. I know that he loves me and that he is so proud of me, so take comfort in that. I just can't help but think about what I don't have in common with these girls.
So, now my prayer is this...I want to find someone to be my friend. I know Sarah has left some pretty big shoes to fill, and my neighbor Hana has become a very good friend, but I am hoping to find someone to click with tomorrow night. I just hate going to things like this alone. I went to my first Bravo FRG meeting alone, so I should be able to handle this.
Oh, the best part! It is at the steak house with the REALLY good rolls!!!!! :)
Anyway, I am going to get out of my head and treat the ladies tomorrow with respect and be myself. I am not going to be ashamed of being successful at what I do, being a working mom, or leaving my baby at home with her VERY capable daddy.
We are a pretty awesome family, I need to rest on that!
I have to say, I am very jealous of my husband! Rick woke up sick this morning and is already better (12 hrs later)...JERK! I got sick yesterday around lunch time and was still sick after lunch today. I am feeling better, but still!
I am in my head pretty good today...I am getting ready for another long and semi busy/stressful day at work tomorrow. That's not even the worst of it. Rick was taken out of the company (collective group of guys who work together) that he deployed with and was taken back to HHC (Headquarters company). With that, I changed FRGs (Family Readiness Groups). This group was were I met my closest friends (who have either moved away or are getting ready to). Now, I have a new adventure. Tomorrow I am going to a dinner with these new ladies to welcome the new leader. The leader is the highest NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer - a fancy way to say the soldiers who are not officers, but are in charge of the soldiers' day-to-day stuff). So, it is kind of a big deal.
This is what I find to be funny. I can spend all day talking to high ranking officers, giving them advice, telling them what they should do, having the hard conversations with them, the whole 9 yards, but when it comes to the FRG, I am terrified of the wives. I think the main issue is that I represent Rick and I want to be sure to do that in the best way possible. I know that he loves me and that he is so proud of me, so take comfort in that. I just can't help but think about what I don't have in common with these girls.
So, now my prayer is this...I want to find someone to be my friend. I know Sarah has left some pretty big shoes to fill, and my neighbor Hana has become a very good friend, but I am hoping to find someone to click with tomorrow night. I just hate going to things like this alone. I went to my first Bravo FRG meeting alone, so I should be able to handle this.
Oh, the best part! It is at the steak house with the REALLY good rolls!!!!! :)
Anyway, I am going to get out of my head and treat the ladies tomorrow with respect and be myself. I am not going to be ashamed of being successful at what I do, being a working mom, or leaving my baby at home with her VERY capable daddy.
We are a pretty awesome family, I need to rest on that!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Army Wives
I am sure this will not be the last post I write about this subject, it is pretty near and dear to my heart.
Being an Army wife is a difficult and rewarding choice. While I was stiling in church this morning, alone, because Rick had to work, I was thinking about this!
When I was in Germany (not an Army wife) my friend and I would talk about the women who would get so mad about what it meant for their husband to be a soldier. We agreed that they cannot complain because they either married him when he was already a soldier and should have known what that meant, or he chose to enlist while they were married, in which case she should have helped her husband make an informed decision. Therefore, while it is not always the best situation, try to think of the good things.
My mother-in-law was an Army wife for 20 years. When Rick went to basic, we were talking about what that little piece of plastic (a military depended ID card) is worth. I learned more about this while Rick was deployed.
Ok, down to brass tax...
Army life is rough. Rick missed the birth and first 9 months of our daughter's life. He works long hours, is away from home at a moment's notice. He doesn't always know the plan for the week before the week starts. There is no 9-5 schedule. He has to wake up early to go exercise. We will move around for the life of our service. We live in a house that is not really ours. We are held to a higher standard and he has to report even a speeding ticket to his chain-of-command. If we want to go on vacation, he has to take vacation days for the weekend. He cannot go more than 75 miles from post without a pass. We can have our house inspected by his supervisor at a moment's notice. These are just a few.
Now, the blessings:
We have health care with no co-pay. We can get into the dr and they can give us over-the-counter medicine for free. We live in the largest gated community in Kentucky, guarded 24/7 by armed guards. We have our own hospital, police and fire stations, grocery store, and department store. We do not pay tax on purchases on post. We live next to a diverse population who help us grow and learn about other cultures in our own country. Moving around provides new adventures, experiences, and we get to live in different places without having to go through the hardship of finding a house or looking for work, Rick will have a job when we get there. We have the pride of knowing that Rick serves our great nation to defend the freedoms we all take for granted.
It is a hard life, but it is so rewarding too. I don't know why military wives feel the need to tear each other down, run each other away, and be hateful to each other. It doesn't make sense to me.
We all come from different places, we all have a different past, and we all love our families. Why is it that we have to pit ourselves against one another and then wonder why there is so much drama in our lives.
Ok, so I have been watching Army Wives since the beginning and I have to tell you that it is not reality. It is a little funnier this season because there is a little more petty drama, which is more realistic. But the ranks do not interact like they portray. There is no way a 3 star general's wife would be hanging out with a PFC's wife. Also, there are fewer officers than enlisted, so it doesn't make a lot of sense that all but 1 of the wives are officer's wives. Maybe that is how they are justifying the rank interactions. Who knows.
Well...like I said, this probably will not be my last post on this topic, but it is frustrating to know that we tear each other down instead of building each other up and helping when needed. So, like Thumper's momma said in Bambi "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
Being an Army wife is a difficult and rewarding choice. While I was stiling in church this morning, alone, because Rick had to work, I was thinking about this!
When I was in Germany (not an Army wife) my friend and I would talk about the women who would get so mad about what it meant for their husband to be a soldier. We agreed that they cannot complain because they either married him when he was already a soldier and should have known what that meant, or he chose to enlist while they were married, in which case she should have helped her husband make an informed decision. Therefore, while it is not always the best situation, try to think of the good things.
My mother-in-law was an Army wife for 20 years. When Rick went to basic, we were talking about what that little piece of plastic (a military depended ID card) is worth. I learned more about this while Rick was deployed.
Ok, down to brass tax...
Army life is rough. Rick missed the birth and first 9 months of our daughter's life. He works long hours, is away from home at a moment's notice. He doesn't always know the plan for the week before the week starts. There is no 9-5 schedule. He has to wake up early to go exercise. We will move around for the life of our service. We live in a house that is not really ours. We are held to a higher standard and he has to report even a speeding ticket to his chain-of-command. If we want to go on vacation, he has to take vacation days for the weekend. He cannot go more than 75 miles from post without a pass. We can have our house inspected by his supervisor at a moment's notice. These are just a few.
Now, the blessings:
We have health care with no co-pay. We can get into the dr and they can give us over-the-counter medicine for free. We live in the largest gated community in Kentucky, guarded 24/7 by armed guards. We have our own hospital, police and fire stations, grocery store, and department store. We do not pay tax on purchases on post. We live next to a diverse population who help us grow and learn about other cultures in our own country. Moving around provides new adventures, experiences, and we get to live in different places without having to go through the hardship of finding a house or looking for work, Rick will have a job when we get there. We have the pride of knowing that Rick serves our great nation to defend the freedoms we all take for granted.
It is a hard life, but it is so rewarding too. I don't know why military wives feel the need to tear each other down, run each other away, and be hateful to each other. It doesn't make sense to me.
We all come from different places, we all have a different past, and we all love our families. Why is it that we have to pit ourselves against one another and then wonder why there is so much drama in our lives.
Ok, so I have been watching Army Wives since the beginning and I have to tell you that it is not reality. It is a little funnier this season because there is a little more petty drama, which is more realistic. But the ranks do not interact like they portray. There is no way a 3 star general's wife would be hanging out with a PFC's wife. Also, there are fewer officers than enlisted, so it doesn't make a lot of sense that all but 1 of the wives are officer's wives. Maybe that is how they are justifying the rank interactions. Who knows.
Well...like I said, this probably will not be my last post on this topic, but it is frustrating to know that we tear each other down instead of building each other up and helping when needed. So, like Thumper's momma said in Bambi "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Adoption-A Question
OIY!!! I just finished two masters classes! I don't know what grade I got, but I am SO happy I am done with that! I don't start a new class until 24 June, nice little rest. I have also decided that I will be taking one class at a time rather than two...it is extremely hard to be a full time employee, wife, mother, and full time graduate student! I am glad it was only for 11 weeks. Yes, I am in an awesome program where classes are only 11 weeks long!!! I know, be jealous.
Anyway, on to something more exciting. I have been thinking about adoption lately. Rick and I have talked about it...I have mixed feelings. I think it is such an amazing gift to provide a loving home for a child who doesn't have one. One of the BIGGEST positives is that I wouldn't have to be prego again!!! Super plus!!!! I have a childhood friend who adopted a family of three kids (I believe) and he posts about being a first time parent with these little ones...it is so precious and sweet.
Then I think about the bond I have with H. I look at her and see both Rick and me. She is so much like our families it makes me want to cry sometimes...mainly just her stubbornness and laziness (pretty much both from me). I think about how I got to bring her into this world, how we bonded even before she was born. She is a part of me and me her...it is special.
I read a blog post by my bestie Laura where she was talking about her adorable son Jer. He is still a little guy, so he is still her baby. It was Christmas time and she was thinking about Mary having to give up Jesus. It made me cry and I wasn't even a mom at that time. I couldn't imagine what Mary had to go through, she bonded with Jesus even before he was born. No one could love him like she could. But is it that way for every baby and mother?
I read an article yesterday about one of the girls featured on MTV's Teen Mom (yes I watch it). She has talked about the father of her 2 year old is not fit to be a father. However, she was arrested for drugs and sentenced to 5 years in jail, but it was suspended pending her completion of a drug treatment program. She decided it was too difficult to get clean in the program and went to the judge to have him put her in prison instead...WHAT!!!!! I am just thinking of this poor little girl who has to see her mom go away to jail because she chooses drugs over her child! Surely, in that case, someone else could love that little girl more than her mom.
Personally, I know people of adoption, my father-in-law for one. I know his parents loved him, possibly more than anyone ever could love another person, and he is an amazing man for it. I also think about my nephew who was adopted by my brother and his wife when he was about 3 months old. His mom had 5 boys already and Tyler was supposed to be a girl. The mom had decided if Tyler was a girl, she would keep her, but if it was another boy, she was going to give him up for adoption. He was a boy and thankfully has a better life for it.
It is hard though. And what about the kids who are 5 and haven't been adopted yet? I know a couple who were in the process (I don't know if they every did) of adopting a 5 year old. By 3 they have baggage, think about the 5, 10, 15 year old. Don't they need love too?
I know I won't solve this tonight, but I wanted to share some thinking on it and glean some feedback. What do you all think?
Anyway, on to something more exciting. I have been thinking about adoption lately. Rick and I have talked about it...I have mixed feelings. I think it is such an amazing gift to provide a loving home for a child who doesn't have one. One of the BIGGEST positives is that I wouldn't have to be prego again!!! Super plus!!!! I have a childhood friend who adopted a family of three kids (I believe) and he posts about being a first time parent with these little ones...it is so precious and sweet.
Then I think about the bond I have with H. I look at her and see both Rick and me. She is so much like our families it makes me want to cry sometimes...mainly just her stubbornness and laziness (pretty much both from me). I think about how I got to bring her into this world, how we bonded even before she was born. She is a part of me and me her...it is special.
I read a blog post by my bestie Laura where she was talking about her adorable son Jer. He is still a little guy, so he is still her baby. It was Christmas time and she was thinking about Mary having to give up Jesus. It made me cry and I wasn't even a mom at that time. I couldn't imagine what Mary had to go through, she bonded with Jesus even before he was born. No one could love him like she could. But is it that way for every baby and mother?
I read an article yesterday about one of the girls featured on MTV's Teen Mom (yes I watch it). She has talked about the father of her 2 year old is not fit to be a father. However, she was arrested for drugs and sentenced to 5 years in jail, but it was suspended pending her completion of a drug treatment program. She decided it was too difficult to get clean in the program and went to the judge to have him put her in prison instead...WHAT!!!!! I am just thinking of this poor little girl who has to see her mom go away to jail because she chooses drugs over her child! Surely, in that case, someone else could love that little girl more than her mom.
Personally, I know people of adoption, my father-in-law for one. I know his parents loved him, possibly more than anyone ever could love another person, and he is an amazing man for it. I also think about my nephew who was adopted by my brother and his wife when he was about 3 months old. His mom had 5 boys already and Tyler was supposed to be a girl. The mom had decided if Tyler was a girl, she would keep her, but if it was another boy, she was going to give him up for adoption. He was a boy and thankfully has a better life for it.
It is hard though. And what about the kids who are 5 and haven't been adopted yet? I know a couple who were in the process (I don't know if they every did) of adopting a 5 year old. By 3 they have baggage, think about the 5, 10, 15 year old. Don't they need love too?
I know I won't solve this tonight, but I wanted to share some thinking on it and glean some feedback. What do you all think?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)