This is the Stuff You Use

While Rick was deployed last year, my very dear friend Laura was a constant strength for me.  During that time, I found the song "This is the stuff" by Francesca Battistelli (yes, it is now playing on my iphone because I don't know how to spell her name:)  This song was me:)  It talks about losing her phone (that NEVER happened while Rick was gone, I practically duct taped it to my hip!).  The more fitting is the speeding ticket verse, yep, my heavy foot has gotten me one or two of those.
Anyway, the refrain says
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess,
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose,
But this is the stuff You use.

The bridge says:
So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world.

That is a BIG statement!  Every time I would get frustrated that Rick hadn't made contact in what I thought was a reasonable amount of time, H wouldn't sleep through the night, the battery died on the Jeep, I would have a bad day at work, or I would just have a bad hair day, I would talk to Laura about it and I would hear that song in my head.  I even remember saying it to her a few times.

Well, I have been having a little trouble lately feeling worthy, good enough, good at all...pretty frustrating stuff actually.  I am trying to work through those issues, but today was a "blessings" day! 

I woke up with the spots on my chest spreading to my neck...I didn't know what it was, but spreading anything is not cool with me!  Last night H was squeaking, like she was losing her voice, so this morning she wasn't feeling great.  Due to the fact that she didn't have a fever, I couldn't justify staying home with her, even though I dearly wanted to.  So, on the way to day care, the check engine light came on in the Jeep.  I called Rick right away...no answer (he hasn't set up his voicemail, on purpose, so people can't leave him annoying messages, I guess that includes his wife).  I dropped H off at day care and went to work.  When he called and I explained the situation, he said that I would have to make an appointment to get it checked out, I asked if he could do it, the response : 'not today'.  Of course.  So, then I made an appointment for my skin, since a lot of the girls at work thought it could be anything from measles to stress hives.  (I could see both actually).  When I went to the doctor this afternoon, the light didn't come on in the Jeep...YAY, I dodged that bullet!  I found out my bumps are a contact allergy (probably from one of the babies from the church nursery on Sunday! Germmy babies :))  she gave me meds and sent me on my way.  Got back in the Jeep, no light (perfect!!!)  Then I tried to turn into our driveway!  It was as if the power steering went out.  When Rick got home he looked at it.  As much as I love my husband, I knew we were probably taking it to a garage.  Sure enough, we dropped it off tonight and he (Rick) thinks it is the radiator, no idea what part or what exactly, just that the temp kept going up and up.

So, there I am, in the middle of a 'blessing'.  There are some good points, we had a great dinner, I know what is wrong with my skin, H is sleeping in her crib after a good day at school, Rick has a ride to work tomorrow, we both have jobs to earn enough money to have an emergency fund for just this incident, so I need to see the good, not the bad.

And now, I have 1/2 the homework done for one of my 2 masters classes.  I also have 10 more tutus to make before Saturday...for adults!  Yes, we are doing the Run for the Red, which is a 5k (walk) for the Red Cross.  Our team (the women) are wearing tutus and I am making them...pics to follow. 

That's it for today, more to follow on the status of the 'blessings'.