Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Saga of a new SAHM

Ugh, many of you know that I am not a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) naturally.  I have worked since I was 16 and find great pride and joy in working.  I love it.  I, personally, believe that it also helps Halaina.  I feel that it allows her to be social, learn more, and be on a structured routine.  I know she gets more from the daycare than I can give her at home.

Well, now we are in a different place.  I am not working due to the move.  This has caused some issues.  With this, I am staying home with H.  I am pretty positive she knows something is different, but her whole life is different, so she may not be really in tune with this being the issue.

Naturally, I am a pretty lazy person.  I thrive on a routine also.  I am not a self starter.  I don't do well with tons of free time.  I have always said that if I was a SAHM, I would be 500 lbs, sitting on the couch, eating bon bons, watching Judge Judy.  Funny side note...the German word for candy is bonbon.  This is proving to be true, although I am not 500lbs and Judge Judy doesn't air over here anymore (at least not on AFN).  I have been feelng that I am getting lazier and lazier. 

There are some serious issues I have been noticing since we have been here, one is that I am not getting as good a grade in my class as I feel I should.  This may seem minor, but it is just one more thing on the plate.

We are living in a 2 bedroom apartment type extended stay hotel.  Rick gets to go every day and do something new.  I stay with the crazy.  Ugh!

Yesterday, I was having a mini melt down about how I felt like I was failing (even though it was the closest thing to an actual schedule day H has had since we got here).  I started talking to him about how I felt like I was failing and he said that my problem is that I have these expectations on myself tat he does not.  He told me he is not expecting things to be this way or that way.  I am so thankful for an understanding husband who will put up with my craziness.

Today, he came home from work very early, let me sleep, and took care of H.  It was amazing!!!  I am feeling better, I have a plan, and we will get through this.

I contacted the personnel office here and they gave me some news that doesn't makes sense, so I am following up with that.  I am going to apply at 2 branches of the bank.  H is going to German day care (kindergarten).  We are going to make this work.  We have only been here 1 week, but I am confident there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

We have a house to move in to, we will move on the 25th.  We are moving right along.  Oh, and I can officially drive in Germany now, which also makes me less stir crazy.  This may sound funny, but it helps knowing that I can just get a car and drive somewhere!!! 

Anyway, we will get through this.  More to come on the SAHM of Halaina Konish...who isn't very good at it!

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